Global Study Finds Strong Correlation Between Political Success and Likelihood of Developing Alzheimer’s | AQL Science

Ann Arbor, Michigan – Researchers from the University of Michigan have announced a groundbreaking study revealing a strong correlation between political success and the likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s, sparking global concern and panic among world leaders. “Our data suggests that cognitive function declines at a considerable rate as politicians climb the ranks,” said lead researcher Dr. Elaine Carter. When asked about the implications of the findings, she responded, “We are not saying that power causes Alzheimer’s, but if you want a sharp mind in your eighties, don’t run for office.” While reactions have been mixed, many people feel relieved that their long-held suspicions have finally been confirmed. “I used to think they were intentionally breaking their campaign promises, but now it seems they just forgot them,” said an anonymous citizen at the press conference. Critics argue that the study highlights a pressing issue in modern politics. “For decades, we have ignored the health concerns of political leaders. It is now our responsibility to protect their cognitive well-being for the sake of society,” said one political analyst, who proposed establishing a public healthcare fund for politicians. High-profile leaders, however, dismissed the study’s conclusions. A veteran senator responded, “The findings are ridiculous. In my forty years in office, I have never… Sorry, where are we?” Meanwhile, business leaders and lobbyists are intrigued by the study’s implications. Many are now partnering with hospitals and insurance companies worldwide to identify the best leadership candidates for their sponsorship.